Questioning What I Thought Was Truth
Since my late twenties I’ve had the urge to seek the truth to life, to know what it’s all about. I’ve studied many books and teachings, as well as becoming part of a spiritual brotherhood to bring about an ecological balance upon Earth. However, after a conversation I’d had with a friend I started to question what I’ve been taking as truth and through this enquiry realised it is a calling to let go of mental baggage.
Pondering on what I know and what is being said by others, there are things that don’t add up. It got me thinking what is truth and what isn’t? How much of what I take as truth – is really so? Is what is shared through media, books, channellings etc, just a ploy to keep me under some form of control and prevent me from experiencing the powerful creative being I am?
The more I pondered this, the more I felt these discrepancies were highlighting the need to stop just believing or taking on board knowledge or information that is second-hand from external sources. To let go of reference points, history, past experience and particularly the need to make meaning out of anything.
Can Life Be a Mystery Never To Be Solved?
Why is it that I need to know anything really? Is it helpful, or is it just because I fear not being in control? If I truly desire to create without limits then what is required is to not limit myself, by holding onto anything that defines life, an identity and so on. Can life not be a mystery never to be solved?
When letting go of the desire to know I experience freedom and a kind of spaciousness open up. This sense of expansiveness invites in insights, wisdom, creative urges and the incentive to explore through feelings, sensation and emotions rather than intellectually.
A number of years back I worked in the childcare industry with children aged between 2-3 years old. On observing them they were like pure bundles of creative energy who cared not for information or knowing what was coming next. Their only focus was on what to explore and express themselves with abandon, using their imagination to its fullest capacity in every given moment.
They could take the most ordinary of objects that as adults we may say is nothing special and play with it in numerous ways. This is because they had not learnt about labelling something or concluded it has one particular function. So, it enabled them to be imaginative and see the many possibilities of the object of their attention.
What Does This Demonstrate?
So, what does this demonstrate? It demonstrates when all knowledge collected or even past experience is dropped, it enables the creative energy from source to flow without hindrance or being watered down in anyway.
It demonstrates it is not about concerning myself with how to live or needing to know, but rather allowing life to live fully through me using all the senses, for the only purpose to experience.
Having A Beginners Mind
There is a Zen saying “A beginners mind has many possibilities and expert mind has few” A beginner’s mind means one who does not hold onto anything that has been, but drops it in readiness for new possibilities and experiences yet to be lived.
When I make meaning of something it creates an attachment and I find myself becoming some sort of expert, this is where arrogance can creep in as well. I also find it can create division even if subtle. Particularly if I’m sharing knowledge with others, because everyone has their own perspective and may not agree with what I share. It also creates expectations, demands and hidden agendas all of which are unnecessary and cloud my ability to receive inspiration, insights and wisdom from within myself.
There is in a sense a kind of laziness when it comes to gaining knowledge, because there is so much information easily accessible to read and study online now. I can say yes, I know this and that from my research, but this is in truth is just intellectual and is someone else’s experience or perspective I can easily rely on.
Having this knowledge at my fingertips I find I’m less inclined to be curious and explore life, because this knowledge says, this is what it’s all about. In a way I’ve become a passive spectator of life watching on the side lines because of gaining so much knowledge externally.
“A beginners mind has many possibilities and expert mind has few”
Life on the other hand wishes me to be a participant. It is inviting me to let go of what I think I know, so I can experience life in a way that is personal and unique to me, where there are many potential uncharted paths to venture upon or even create, through allowing both my imagination and intuition to be the driving force, rather what already exists in this physical reality.
Hence, I’m realising to live a creative life I must first be willing to release myself from the old programming, structures, systems, anything where I’ve been repetitive, consistent, habitual. Creativity blossoms when constructs are absent, requiring only a curious unpredictable nature for it to ignite and thrive.
It's Time To Break Free
It’s time to break free from programming and systems of old
To step bravely forward with no reference to hold
To be pure and simple like a child aged two or three
Whose only focus is to express and explore with great curiosity
Allowing the yearnings of my soul to pave the way
And lead a creative life with each passing day.